Wayfaring Stranger

Wayfaring Stranger by Unknown I am a poor wayfaring stranger While traveling thru this world of woe Yet there's no sickness, toil or danger in that bright world to which I go I'm going there to see my father I'm going there no more to roam I'm only going over Jordan I'm only going over home I know dark clouds will gather round me I know my way is rough and steep Yet beauteous fields lie just before me Where God's redeemed their vigils keep I'm going there to see my mother She said she'd meet me when I come I'm only going over Jordan I'm only going over home

To D from J

I forgive you. I forgive all the perfect lies that you sowed while we lived in a foreign land. I forgive you because you are not perfect, neither am I. I have to let you go finally, because our love was one based on a lie. Not my lie, yours. I can let go now because your love doesn't define my self worth. Just because you threw away my love as if were nothing, doesn't mean I am nothing. I am stronger now. I am finding my happiness now. I forgive you. But I will never forget you, from the love to the lies.

STAR WITNESS

STAR WITNESS Neko Case 2005 MY TRUE LOVE DROWNED IN A DIRTY OLD PAN OF OIL THAT DID RUN FROM THE BLOCK OF A FALCON SEDAN 1969 THE PAPER SAID '75 THERE WERE NO SURVIVORS NONE FOUND ALIVE TREES BREAK THE SIDEWALK AND THE SIDEWALK SKINS MY KNEES THERE'S GLASS IN MY THERMOS AND BLOOD ON MY JEANS NICKELS AND DIMES OF THE FOURTH OF JULY ROLL OFF IN A CROOKED LINE TO THE CHAIN-LINK LOTS WHERE THE RED TAILS DIVE OH HOW I FORGOT WHAT IT'S LIKE HEY WHEN SHE SINGS, WHEN SHE SINGS WHEN SHE MOVES LIKE SHE RUNS MOVES LIKE SHE RUNS HEY WHEN SHE MOVES, WHEN SHE MOVES WHEN SHE MOVES LIKE SHE RUNS MOVES LIKE SHE RUNS "HEY PRETTY BABY GET HIGH WITH ME, WE CAN GO TO MY SISTER'S IF WE SAY WE'LL WATCH THE BABY" THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE YANKS MY NECK ON THE CHAIN AND I WOULD DO ANYTHING TO SEE YOU AGAIN GO ON, GO ON SCREAM AND CRY YOU'RE MILES FROM WHERE ANYONE WILL FIND YOU THIS IS NOTHING NEW, NO TELEVISION CREW THEY DON'T EVEN PUT ON THE SIRENS MY NIGHTGOWN SWEEPS THE PAVEMENT, PLEASE DON'T LET HIM DIE OH HOW I FORGOT...

To Be Three

There exist only three beings worthy of respect: the priest, the soldier, the poet. To know, to kill, to create. Charles Baudelaire, Mon Coeur Mis a Nu, XXII

Being Reborn

Jessica's Blog: Born Again

I wish I was the Moon

"I Wish I Was The Moon"
by Neko Case


Chimney falls and lovers blaze
Thought that I was young
Now I've freezing hands and bloodless veins
As numb as I've become

I'm so tired
I wish I was the moon tonight

Last night I dreamt I had forgotten my name
'Cause I had sold my soul but awoke just the same
I'm so lonely
I wish I was the moon tonight

God blessed me, I'm a free man
With no place free to go
I'm paralyzed and collared-tight
No pills for what I fear

This is crazy
I wish I was the moon tonight

Chimney falls and lovers blaze
Thought that I was young
Now I've freezing hands & bloodless veins
As numb as I've become

I'm so tired,
I wish I was the moon tonight

How will you know if you found me at least
'Cause I'll be the one, be the one, be the one
With my heart in my lap
I'm so tired, I'm so tired
I wish I was the moon tonight

Changing My Life...One moment at a time...

So, I've had a lot of ups and downs the last year or so... well lets just say the last THREE years! Anywho! What I'm trying to say is I think I'm really looking forward to reinventing myself. I have gotten back into my artwork again, even thinking about applying to art school. I am looking forward to working out again and really cleansing my body and mind. I really am working hard to try to be a better person... even if I'm alone at it.

Smile

It's been a long time since I felt this good :D

Anger...

It makes me so sick to know that after everything you've said about me... you're getting everything you dream of... it makes life not worth living...


Just more proof that evil gets ahead in this world.

Would you...

Love me, if I asked you to?

I'm not going to lie...

I miss you something fierce.
I want to cry because it hurts so much.

A Dream Within A Dream

by
Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

The Sick Muse

The Sick Muse by Charles Baudelaire

My impoverished muse, alas! What have you for me this morning?
Your empty eyes are stocked with nocturnal visions,
In your cheek's cold and taciturn reflection,
I see insanity and horror forming.
The green succubus and the red urchin,
Have they poured you fear and love from their urns?
The nightmare of a mutinous fist that despotically turns,
Does it drown you at the bottom of a loch beyond searching?

I wish that your breast exhaled the scent of sanity,
That your womb of thought was not a tomb more frequently
And that your Christian blood flowed around a buoy that was rhythmical,

Like the numberless sounds of antique syllables,
Where reigns in turn the father of songs,
Phoebus, and the great Pan, the harvest sovereign.

The Ghost

THE GHOST

by: Charles Baudelaire

SOFTLY as brown-eyed Angels rove
I will return to thy alcove,
And glide upon the night to thee,
Treading the shadows silently.

And I will give to thee, my own,
Kisses as icy as the moon,
And the caresses of a snake
Cold gliding in the thorny brake.

And when returns the livid morn
Thou shalt find all my place forlorn
And chilly, till the falling night.

Others would rule by tenderness
Over thy life and youthfulness,
But I would conquer thee by fright!

Wait for Me

Lost EVERYTHING

Lately... I've just felt like I've lost everything. My therapist calls it a "quarter-life crisis". Bullshit... I've just lost everything. Love. Money. My career.... People say I have a lot to look forward to. But I don't... I feel like I'm chasing pavements...

Forgive My Mistakes...

It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses. ~Colette

What part of I love you do you NOT understand!!

Lesson Learned

"Can I Stay?"

Ray Lamontagne... Can I stay??

Can I stay here with you till the morning
I am so far from home and i feel a little stoned
so can i stay here with you till the morning?
There's nothing i want more than to wake up on your floor
So lay with me in your thinnest dress
fill my heart with each caress
between your blissful kisses, whisper
darling, is this love?

So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks?
There's something you should know
I ain't got no place to go
So can I stay here with you, till the day breaks
How happy it would make me to see your face when I wake
So lay with me in your thinnest dress
Fill my heart with each caress
Between your blissful kisses, whisper
Darling, is this love?

So can I stay here with you till the nighttime
I've fallen sad inside and I need a place to hide
So can I stay, here with you, through the nighttime
I've fallen so sad it's true, now won't you take me to your room
Lay with me in your thinnest dress
fill my heart with each caress
between your blissful kisses, whisper
Darling is this love?

Whisper to me, is this love?

Bridget Jones: Spinster

Mark Darcy: I like you, very much.
Bridget: Ah, apart from the smoking and the drinking, the vulgar mother and... ah, the verbal diarrhea.
Mark Darcy: No, I like you very much. Just as you are.


...I just want my own Mark Darcy...

To Make You Feel My Love...

To you...

"...and I'm standing on the corner of 5th and Vermouth to do what it takes to be your miracle and for you I'd rather die on my feet than live life on my knees because you are the beautiful piece of chaos that is me."

If I die young..

"Heart Like Mine"

"Heart Like Mine"
by Miranda Lambert

I ain't the kind you take home to mama
I ain't the kind to wear no ring
Somehow I always get stronger
When I'm on my second drink

Even though I hate to admit it
Sometimes I smoke cigarettes
The Christian folks say I should quit it
And I just smile and say "god bless"

Cause I heard Jesus he drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet he'd understand a heart like mine

Daddy cried when he saw my tattoo
But said he loved me anyway
My brother got the brains of the family
So I thought I'd learn to sing

Cause I heard Jesus he drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet he'd understand a heart like mine

And I'll fly away from it all one day
And I'll fly, I'll fly away
But these are the days that I will remember
When my names called on a roll
He'll meet me with two long stem glasses
And make a toast to me coming home

Cause I heard Jesus he drank wine
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm a storm and heal the blind
And I bet he'd understand
Understand a heart like mine
Oh yes he would

Am I really???

Am I really ready to get married? Have babies? And fuck my husband whenever we feel like it????


I'd like to think so.


signed
No One's Mrs. Future.

How did we get here???

Thousands of dollars in pills and medical bills still won't fix it.

Being Human

Isn't that what we're all trying to be...