Dialogue

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. If you don't start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say find someone you can love like crazy and who'll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I'm not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you'll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love - well, you haven't lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven't tried, you haven't lived.

Already Gone

Already Gone by Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die
I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone
Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Already gone, already gone, already gone
Already gone, already gone, already gone, yeah

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone

Dating Advice from Your Lord and Master... Foamy

To Dory....

I'm pretty much speechless.

However, I guess the only place I know where to start is Saturday night and the dream I had.

First of all, allow me to say since I got assaulted I've had a very hard time sleeping. My dreams usually consist of blood or some horrifying images. But that night it was very different.

In my dream I was with my mother at my brother's grave, at the foot of his tombstone digging with a military shovel. In the dream my brother's grave was on my grandparent's old property, I remember I stopped digging when I saw a red car pull up into the drive way and a soldier in old WWII green fatigues get out of the vehicle and approach me. He asked me who I was and if I was in the military and presented me a small bracelet box and saluted me. As I opened the box I realized it was a memorial bracelet. It had Dory's name on it. I began frantically crying, and ran after the soldier and asked him if Dory was dead. The soldier said "Is there a 'Q' by the name?" and I said "Yes." The soldier replied "Then he's dead." And he left. I just cried and cried, and found myself walking through a garden then to a koi pond. Then I woke up.

Growing up I was always told that if you dream of someone dying then someone is going to get married.

People say dreams are just dreams but for me I believe they can be powerful. Especially after what Dory and I talked about on Tuesday.



This is just want I was to say to Dory:


They say if you really love someone the greatest thing you can ever do for them is let them go. This is me letting you go Dory. I know I sent a text message saying that it would be in my best interest to never speak to you again and that I hate and despise you and Wendy. The bottom line is I'm so heartbroken that the truth is, I love you more than you love me. That's okay. I need you to know that is okay. I need you to know that I have to let you go to survive. And if being with Wendy is what you want, what you heart really wants then so be it. I can't come between you and your love or your happiness.

But I don't hate you.

And the last thing I want to happen is you to go back to Iraq and not know that deep down inside my heart I never hated you, I was just so devastated. So torn to pieces inside because the way I see it, she's using you again, tricking you. But like I said - its your choice and your life, and your love. And no, just because something doesn't work out in my favor doesn't mean I don't think you don't deserve your happiness. You deserve all the happiness and love in the world. And I need you to know that, and I'm too chicken shit to call you and say all of this because more or less I'd be in tears.

But you have to understand where I'm coming from, because sometimes I don't think you know. I've been so scared of myself for so long and have had to my blood and guts on displace out to the world for months because of what happened the week you got married. Because I was so deeply hurt. No I'm not trying to put you on a guilt trip, I just want you to see. I just want you to know. That whatever happens, speaking terms or no speaking terms... there will always be a girl out there who loved you more than you'll ever know. Who stood up to her family and friends, who flew from one country to another, who would go to hell if you asked it of her - out there.

There will always be a piece of you in my heart and soul. Harsh words or actions can never take that away. Now I've said my peace.

Always Yours
Jessica

The Kinda Love

Can love really travel back in time and heal a broken heart?

I hope so.

Because I do Love Dory.

I never thought in a million years I would be back with him. That I would feel the same about him again. Or even think of no one else while I'm with him or without him. I know for months I have compared all men to him - even Mike, and no one even matched up. No one ever could fill that void in my heart like he does. It's been hard - for both of us. Everything we've gone through. And yes all of this will take time. But all the we have now is time.

He came home from Iraq to see me. I didn't know that he was even home on R&R and as soon as I knew I asked him to come - not knowing that he was on his way before I even asked. I love this man.

It has been a year since I've seen him, and for the first time he seems happy and just... The Dory I fell in love with. Granted our love is a work in progress... its not going to happen over night. But I'm willing to work towards it if he is too, and he seems like he is.

My parents aren't thrilled, my mother won't even talk to me. However, my dad and my granny have been supportive and just want me to be happy. Dory makes me happy.

I just really hope that love can go back in time and heal a broken heart.

I thought it might fix everything...Somehow.