How Many Pills Does It Take.....

I can't sleep tonight... nothing new.
My mind keeps wandering to thoughts of him and hoping he is okay. Hoping that someday my life will be back to some sort of normality. I often feel like I'm locked in chains when it comes to love or anything I do in my life. That I'm being punished by god for some unknown reason. Did I not love god enough? Was I born to be some sort of tool to be tested? I was once told by someone who had literally seen the face of death (he was blown up and survived) that he had a great new love for life.

Now here I am... someone who has been thrown aside like a piece of trash almost all her life... and I'm just a sad and lonely old fool.

I want more than what I've been dealt.

You're No Good... Heartbreaker....

So all last night - even though HE broke up with me. He was all I could think about. Everytime a guy came up to me asking me to dance or wanting to talk - I just wanted it to be Mike.

Sorry guys... I can't help that I still wanna be with this guy who broke up with me almost a week and half after he told me he loved me. Yes - Ladies and Gents I have issues. I have LOTS of issues and it seems to stem from men who just play a brief role in my life.

I just want the Mike I fell for back.

I just want me life back. Before all this bad stuff happened.

Long Time NO BLOGG!!!!!!

Yes! I realize its been almost four months since my last post. But Ladies and Gents! I have been threw A LOT!

From moving to a new country - Well Back to the United States to dating an amazing guy who ends up being NOT so amazing to having to testify at a general court-martial. Its been an emotional roller coaster.

However, today I'm moved to a new unit in which I can focus on all my medical needs and all that jazz.

I have tons to say but I just don't know how to put it into text. Perhaps with time I can write it all down for you.