Sunday, June 21, 2009

How Many Pills Does It Take.....



I can't sleep tonight... nothing new.
My mind keeps wandering to thoughts of him and hoping he is okay. Hoping that someday my life will be back to some sort of normality. I often feel like I'm locked in chains when it comes to love or anything I do in my life. That I'm being punished by god for some unknown reason. Did I not love god enough? Was I born to be some sort of tool to be tested? I was once told by someone who had literally seen the face of death (he was blown up and survived) that he had a great new love for life.

Now here I am... someone who has been thrown aside like a piece of trash almost all her life... and I'm just a sad and lonely old fool.

I want more than what I've been dealt.

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