Tired of Being Sorry

Tonight most of all I've realized I'm exhausted from being sorry for myself...well not just myself but feeling sorry for loving the people I love.

I just don't understand how I come across these people... How I come across people who don't love me like I love them.

What did I do that is so wrong?

Because I'll never be what people want me to be..

Sorry that I'm not 36 24 36 with tattoos and pierced nipples and tongue ring.

Sad thing is.. I used to be that girl. Now I'm just a fat, tattooed, and depressed girl.

I just want me life back and the sad thing is I'll never have it back. As long as I'm here I'm always going to be haunted by what people have done to me and how I am so much of a failure. Hell - no one ever leaves me comments of even bothers to read this damn journal I've kept over the last well almost two years.



And this is the girl I'm not... but I wish I was... I wish I wasn't the shell of a person I used to be nor an ugly fat girl I am now.

I always thought.. I'd be a mom...

"Simple Kind Of Life"

For a long time I was in love
Not only in love, I was obsessed
With a friendship that no one else could touch
It didn't work out, I'm covered in shells

And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life
And all I needed was a simple man
So I could be a wife

I'm so ashamed, I've been so mean
I don't know how it got to this point
I always was the one with all the love
You came along, I'm hunting you down

Like a sick domestic abuser looking for a fight
And all I wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life

If we met tomorrow for the very first time
Would it start all over again?
Would I try to make you mine?

I always thought I'd be a mom
Sometimes I wish for a mistake
The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get
You seem like you'd be a good dad

Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life
How'd I get so faithful to my freedom?
A selfish kind of life
When all I ever wanted was the simple things
A simple kind of life