The only way I'd let you back into my life...

Will come with a price....

What Happened?

Thoughts of you still fill my mind from time to time. I often wonder if I'm your biggest regret or your biggest disaster barely diverted. I look for your name, I even look at the stars and wonder if you ever wished on the same star I wished on. As much as I despise and hate your actions it doesn't change how much I've loved you or even how much I wish our love could have grown and became stronger. I guess I should delete all the pictures of us - but I just don't have the heart to do it.. Maybe because I wish you could still look at me like you used to... or maybe I just wish I could find away to forgive myself for being so stupid to believe that someone would actually love me. Never the less...Someday I must find peace. But will you?

Dear John

Like Johnny and June

Calla Lillies

Flowers might seem like a waste... but I always wanted you to waste them on me.

Craigslisters

So my girl Jette and I get on Craigslist and read some of the well sad,funny, silly, and raunchy ads people post.. however, some of them are very powerful and touching... I wanted to share some here because well I can relate to the words.

glitter-graphics.com
I will never forget - m4w
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of you. I know you've found someone else and I have too but the thought of you with another man just doesn't seem right. Everytime I think of you and that's quite often... My heart still jumps a beat to this day. You know who you are and you'll probably never see this... But I just wanted to let you know that deep down I'm still waiting for you and I think I always will. I haven't bought flowers on any day of the week since you and I never will. I've made my peace with a few people I couldn't before ,both in your life and in mine and I'm nicer person all around. I had to find peace inside myself.

Please if you see this KNOW I love you and I always will. You are the most Beautiful Woman I have ever had the pleasure to know. Thank you for sharing your life with me even if it wasn't the rest of it. EVERYONE gets compared to you.

For what it's worth.......... I love you and I miss you so very much.

You will NEVER be forgotten.




I miss you - w4m - 21
I miss you, and I hate it. Im sorry the last time we talked I just got in the car without saying anything. Then I saw you that night and you barely would speak to me. Good for you for being strong, but this is killing me.
I went by where we used to meet the other day and all I could think about was our place, our secret. I guess I just need to know it wasnt all a lie. I dont think youll ever see this, but if you do just let me know your doing ok.




These were to beautiful not to share.

What Scares You?

glitter-graphics.com
What scares me is I'm not over you...I'm far from being over you. Which is causing such a set back for me.

Forgiveness

I find it so ironic - how I can give out forgiveness to those who have hurt me. Atleast, enough forgiveness for the small stuff... the stupid stuff.. however, when it comes to me.. I get screwed... all because I loved him. He ruined my life. And in the process I hurt someone who really did love me..

So much for forgiveness....

It's been over a year...

Lost

I wonder, do we all know where we belong? And if we do, in our hearts, why do we so often do nothing about it? There must be more to this life, a purpose for us all, a place to belong. You were my home. I knew from the moment I met you, that night, so many years ago. -Beyond Borders

Why Does It Still Piss Me Off???

It is like even to this day it still pisses me off for what Dory asked me... If I slept with Divine. I didn't sleep with that mother fucker. And it just aggravates the shit outta me. I guess because there is nothing worse to me than being called a liar. Because I am a lot of things but a liar isn't one of them. What I find funny is that my good friend Jaime couldn't believe he asked me that and that it was just typical of Divine to say something like that. I dunno it just still pisses me off... from The whole "I've been thinking about you and wanting to be with you" to my own actions. I shouldn't have been weak to believe that he had changed. People don't change... just manipulate.