This is us..

My Dearest Allie

. I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever. I love you. I'll be seeing you. Noah

Just When You Think...

Just when you think life is going good something smacks you in the face like a million bricks. It really is hard moving on, especially when you think you're ready. Am I ready? Maybe I'm not, hell maybe I am but things for my past continue to haunt me. Haunt me, hurt me. They are kind of the same thing right? I see people moving forward in there careers - mine was stolen from me. I see people moving on in relationships - mine was... well.. He choose his friends over me. It's hard for me to connect with anyone anymore. I have some really good friends but it seems like I shut down when things begin to hurt. They really hurt right now. However, I hold it all in - in hopes of either getting over it or maybe it will implode inside of me and the pain will just take the misery away. I quit drinking - I know, for like the billionth time. But it was either continue with the booze and self-destruction or something bad was really going to happen, again. I just don't know what to do. I have an idea of what I want to accomplish in the future - its just executing it. Actually, doing it. Committing myself to a new me. Because I deserve it.

February Stars

February Stars Lyrics - Foo Fighters I'm hanging on here until I'm gone I'm right where I belong just hanging on even though I watched you come and go how was I to know you'd steal the show? one day I'll have enough to gamble I'll wait to hear your final call and bet it all I'm hanging on here until I'm gone right where I belong just hanging on even though I pass this time alone somewhere so unknown it heals the soul you ask for walls I'll build them higher we'll lie in the shadows of them all I'd stand but they're much to tall and I fall february stars floating in the dark temporary scars february stars

Apologize 2.0