Addiction

Admitting to addiction is the hardest thing I have done. I have issues with alcohol, food, and basically my whole body image. Between drinking and eating my emotions for years - I have set myself into a cycle of bad choices and even worse mistakes. Coming clean has been the best thing I have done. Especially since I am beginning to enjoy my own company verses the sad torture of being alone. I see things sometimes. Perhaps I shouldn't mention that - perhaps that probably makes me sound crazy but I guess I am crazy. Maybe this whole world is just crazy. Right now I am waiting to get back on my feet. I am waiting for my money to come in so I can pay off the bills that I acquired during another failed relationship and self loathing torture I put myself through. Once I have overcome that next obstacle I am going to look towards the future and purchase my own house - my own home. A refuge. I need a place to call my own so I can heal and grow and perhaps someday have a family. Another goal is that I want to start writing more. I may not write the great American novel but atleast I can write out my thoughts and feelings more so I am not so bottled up all the time. Sometimes I feel like I share to much - but then deep down I feel like I do not share enough with the world.